It can be hard to think of downsizing after a lifetime of working hard and buying what you want when you want it. In this blog our guest contributor Ellen Frances shares strategies to help us get started.
Janet: Why is it so hard to purge when you are over 50?
Ellen: I find this the most interesting question because we spend our lives acquiring the things that make us happy, that fill our homes with memories and rooms that house our most precious possessions. The more successful we become the more ‘things’ we feel we need to represent our achievements, our travels, our interests and our family. We somehow loose the perspective that we’ll ever have enough. Well, the truth is that we identify so much with our surroundings, in good ways and not so good ways, that when the thought of parting with possessions is presented to us, we cringe. The thought of giving up the very ‘things’ we worked so hard to obtain is gut wrenching.
We feel that at a certain age we have to hold onto the past. Let’s face it the older we get the less time we have in front of us so the past is a pretty good place to be so we hold on to our things. We don’t really think of them as a burden, but possessions can be, which is why we have broached the topic. There may be times when you try to unload things and then you feel like you’ll miss them, so back in the box or room they go. We are a consumer society and we have not quite grasped the notion that to lose some ‘possessions’ will free up our time and energy to enjoy other interests that don’t involve collecting more things. We forget that when we die our families will be responsible for discarding what we have left behind.
Janet: How do we get stated when we know we need to purge?
Ellen: This may very well be the most difficult task to start and it shouldn’t be taken on lightly. It seems like it should be easy and a lot of professionals tend to make you feel that it should be easy but as Janet and I know all too well, it’s a psychological dilemma that can haunt you and render you helpless. So, my advice is to:
- Decide why you feel you need to purge. Decide if it’s what you want and need or is it at the prompting of others. Pressure from others is never a good starting point. The fact that you have gotten to a point where you need to ‘purge’ because you have so many possessions is and of itself daunting.
- Next decide if you need help. And I’m not talking about a good intended friend who will have you just getting rid of everything without understanding their meaning to you. That’s what most people think is good but that can have a reverse affect and can surely put you in the state of shock. You may need professional help, which is always my first recommendation. Now you may not need the full service of a professional. Perhaps a consultation to start. Just so you can really access what needs to be done and how best to handle your individual situation. All situations are never the same but all situations involve making decisions that you may not have thought about.
Again, you and your family have spent years accumulating things that now need to be discarded. I’m sure there are those who simply can just purge and won’t flinch about what they’ve let go of… that’s not who this is for. This is advice to help with a painful transition. Once you have met with a professional or made the decision on your own, then you need to map out a strategy that will not overburden you and that will not make you feel guilty for wanting to purge.
To listen to this interview in its entirety click the following link. To connect with Ellen, click this link.
After reading this blog are you thinking of purging an item or two from your life? Please share. If you need help schedule a 15 minute session so we can talk. If you would like to join a community of women who are on their personal journey to organize their life click the following link to my Living Life Totally Organized Facebook Group.
