I did not see my grandmother, aunties, and mom, take a moment for self-care. Real Talk: they laughed at the notion that women would invest time to do something as trivial as pampering their mind, body, and soul. No judgment. Generations of Caribbean women in my family never thought it was okay to put self-first; it wasn’t a priority. For many, it was about thriving in a new country and sponsoring their families to join them in America. We know for sure now that self-care is not a mystery; it is the preservation of the core – heart and nucleus of who we are as women, givers of life, and caregivers. Self-care is vital and necessary to ward off mental illness, disease, and stress.
Black women are more likely than white women to have experienced post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from childhood maltreatment and sexual violence. They are more likely to have stress (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/25/opinion/strong-stressed-black-woman.html) as the article goes on to discuss.
My life was a hustle, a constant grind on the treadmill. Regardless if I decide to incline or stay put, the art form of the delicate balance left me in chaos. Am I doing enough? Too much? Too little? I tried to keep pace in my career, community, family, friends by giving the best of self, but I couldn’t adjust the treadmill to tend to my wound, pain, cut, and trauma. Or celebrate the joys, highs, and yummy-ness of life. I no longer wanted to be on the treadmill. I wanted to be firmly planted on the ground, on a yoga mat, to rediscover me.
My simple tips for enjoying life:
Look in the mirror to “see” self. I had to reintroduce myself to me and become the leader of my fan club. Also, be honest about relationships – from parents, friends, marriage, and coworkers. Define what brings joy, love, and stress—tough questions but necessary.
Be Selective on the couch you sit on. Talk with a professional and stop dancing with fear and stress. According to Hopkins Medicine, “Women are so busy taking care of everyone else — their partners, their elderly parents, and their children — they don’t take care of themselves. However, women should always attend to their own needs, whether physical or emotional, to make you weak. It makes you better able to care for your loved ones in the long run.”
Breathe. We forget that life is about simplicity, the alignment, the union and the inhale, and exhale. Regardless of the situation, from preparing to give birth to navigating anxiety to celebrate, the power of the breath is essential to take us one from one transition to the next. Breathe. Baby. Breathe.
Karen Taylor Bass (RYT-200) is a certified yoga instructor and meditation coach. She has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Washington Post, AARP, ABC-TV, and Dr. Oz.
Please listen to my podcast interview with Karen as she shares additional stress relieving techniques.
Has this blog, the video or podcast interview inspired you to incorporate selfcare into your schedule? If yes I would love to know what you have chosen to do to put yourself at the top of your list, please leave a comment below. If you feel overwhelmed with managing your time and life schedule a FREE 15 Minute Virtual Session with me.
